Is it because I queefed?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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