coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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