Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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