Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
i need some magic done to my vagina
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
