im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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