Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize