She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize