His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
