Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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