the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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