Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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