I need help removing her.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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