Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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