You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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