I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
