Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
