I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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