toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
