she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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