I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
