rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
