Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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