Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I would ride that face into the sunset
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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