I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
