You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
