Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
