my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
