i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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