I'm gonna have a badass scar
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
