"it" just moved
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You ate ashes out of my bong
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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