Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
