Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
