Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
