Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
