and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
