if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
