So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
