mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
