After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm at about main and main street
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize