how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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