Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
