All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
