went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
