You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You can't special order awesome
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
