If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
