I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
