so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
