And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
