Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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