Do you still have your period?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I skipped work to stalk him.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
