I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
we made out on top of his cat.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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