You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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