TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
