adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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