So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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