garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
