so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
