I wannas sexs uuuuu
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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