I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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